Don’t.
Just like you shouldn’t avoid the pain from your broken arm, you shouldn’t avoid thoughts of death. You need to process them to sleep without worry.
Anxiety comes from things you need to spend time on. Anxiety is a safeguard for your self. It’s a tool your soul uses to grab your attention.
When you feel anxious, there’s always some topic for you to think through.
For now, it’s death.
The bad news is you’re doing it wrong. When a thought about death pops up, it overwhelms you. You feel helpless or stuck because death seems unavoidable and out of your control. Then you try to switch to something else to stop the process.
Sometimes it works, and you forget. Sometimes you wake up after a night of worrying about death, feeling exhausted.
The good news is you can deal with it. You can calm your fear of death. And stop obsessing over dying. You can even make sense of death and feel your life has meaning.
Focus on death. You’ll feel better.
You need it so much that you read this entire post I wrote.
Below is the simplest way to process your thoughts about death. Grab a cup of tea and explore it.
Why Thinking About Death Is Normal and Helpful
It’s okay to think about death—it’s something we all do. These thoughts often come from wondering about life’s big questions. Studies show they can even help you.
For example, an old idea called memento mori reminds us that remembering death pushes us to live better. The Stoics, a group from long ago, used this trick to focus on what matters and let go of small worries. So, instead of pushing death thoughts away, working through them can make you value life more. Over time, this can ease your anxiety.
Here’s a surprising perk: knowing death is part of life can lift your fears. Psychologists say it helps you focus on what you’ll leave behind—like your impact or legacy. In some cultures, people celebrate the end of life every day. This might sound strange, but it brings them comfort. You can find that kind of peace too.
What Might Keep Death on Your Mind
Sometimes, thoughts about death stick around more than you’d like. They can come from different places in your mind or life. Here’s a list to help you understand why this happens, based on what mental health experts say. Recognizing these can be your first step to feeling better.
Losing someone or facing mortality:
A first brush with death—like losing your grandma at age 5—can spark fear. You might start checking your pulse every day, avoiding tough foods, asking others if you’re okay, or praying to live forever.
Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD)
If a loss hurts for over a year, you might struggle to accept it. Thoughts like “If only my sister got into that trial” replay in your head. You may avoid anything that reminds you of them.
Depression and hopelessness
Feeling down can tie thoughts of dying to despair. This might include suicidal thoughts, which are serious. Help is out there. In the US, call 911, visit an ER, dial 988, text HOME to 741741, or call 1-800-273-8255.
Intrusive thoughts
These are unwanted, upsetting ideas—like fearing you or a loved one will die. They don’t mean you want to die. They often link to OCD or PTSD.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
This brings distressing thoughts you can’t shake. You might research diseases, ask for reassurance, avoid driving, stick to strict health rules, pray a lot, study the afterlife, or check on people. These habits feel good briefly but keep the cycle going.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
After a scary event, memories, flashbacks, or nightmares can hit hard. You might feel regret—like missing moments with loved ones—or dodge triggers for quick relief. Your body might tense up, ready to fight, run, or freeze.
Anxiety
Constant worry or fear amps up danger in your mind. You might dread death or tragedy all the time. Avoiding things or checking in a lot can make it worse, especially after a recent loss or trauma.
You’re not alone in this—lots of people face these feelings. Figuring out what’s behind your thoughts can guide you toward calm.
When to Reach Out for Support
If thoughts of death turn into wanting to hurt yourself, act fast. In the US, call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or chat at 988lifeline.org.
Help is ready for you. For other struggles, like a big fear of death (called thanatophobia), professionals can step in. About 3-10% of people feel this strongly, often tied to health worries or not having beliefs that comfort them.
Tools like CBT or exposure therapy work well. You deserve to feel steady again—reaching out is a brave move.